i will never forgive jamie lynn spears for getting pregnant and ruining zoey 101
when the pizza guy came over today i was like “have a good day” and he said “dont tell me what to do” and i just stood there staring at him and then he’s like “lol i got that from drake and josh”


In which President Obama gives a fifth-grader the best absence note ever.
My brother decided to use my bathroom and that was fine, but five minutes later I hear singing and he’s singing to the tune of “What’s This” for the Nightmare Before Christmas about various products I keep in the bathroom.
“What’s this, what’s this?
There’s products everywhere.
What’s this?
I think it goes in hair.”

you know when you ask your sister to get you some gummy candy but you really mean SOUR gummy candy so when she comes home with your gummy bears you are very disappointed and forget them in the sun and then they congeal into one single 990 calorie gummy rectangle and you spend 10 minutes cutting it out of the bag so you can take a picture for the internet